Adventures in Parenting

What do you remember about your parent’s home when you were growing up? Was it a warm and loving place to come home to? Was there laughter? Did you enjoy being with your family?

Do you remember kind and loving words said to you by your parents? Or was there negativity and criticism, shouting and fighting?

I remember my dad had to work long hours at the restaurant. He only had one day off a week, and he was not very involved in our lives. But I do remember my mother always being home when I got home from school. Snacks were always available. My mom had a good sense of humor. There were arguments, but there was also plenty of laughter and silliness.

I often think back to what my childhood was like. It helps me to better understand my children and what they may be going through. And I imagine what it’s like now for my children growing up in our home. What kind of memories will they have of me???

We have two opportunities for a parent-child relationship – one as the child, and one as the parent. As a child, we didn’t have much choice of what our home environment was like. Maybe you grew up in a less than ideal home. Perhaps there was neglect, abuse, or divorce.

As a parent now, we have a second chance to have a better home environment. We are no longer powerless; we are the ones who have the power to create the warm and loving home that we all would want to have.

Perhaps you are tired today, or feeling especially irritable. The atmosphere is far from warm at your house. Take a moment to think about what it’s like to be your child growing up in this home. Is it a little cold?

It is actually not difficult to take some chill out of the home atmosphere. Take a deep breath and do 3 simple things:

1. Go give each of your children a big hug and tell them you love them more than anything in the world. That is the truth, isn’t it?  Sometimes we forget to tell them.  And sometimes we also need to remind ourselves.

2. Give your children an apology. “I am sorry I was irritable with you. Will you forgive me?” Taking this step will show your children that you want to clear the air and start afresh.

3. Get some ice cream! When there is tension and everyone is in a bad mood, desserts and some nice music will help bring back a warm and loving atmosphere to your home.

What other ways have you found to build a warm and loving home?