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Getting control of our anger

September 24th, 2009 / 5 Comments

Yelling and screaming is not the kind of mom I wanted to be. But somewhere along the way, I’ve turned from sweet mild Katy to Angry Mom.

Every night I would apologize to my kids. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I am just tired.”

Being tired was always the reason, my excuse that I fall back on. Hey, who can blame a mom for being tired taking care of 3 little kids?

I felt my bad temper was justified. In fact, I deserved to be angry. After all I’ve done for you kids, cleaning toilets, cooking three hot meals every day, driving here and there. After all my sacrifice, blood,  sweat, and tears, now you go running around before bedtime and won’t even put your own dishes away. I have every right to yell at you!

While I apologized for my out-of-control screaming, it didn’t stop me from doing it again the next day.

One day, I looked in the mirror. I saw someone there with furrowed brows, drab complexion, downturned lips. Where was the fun-loving, light-hearted Katy? What happened to the Katy whose life dream was to be a mother and a nurturer?

I was ugly. And it wasn’t my outdated hair style or the baggy sweats. I was ugly on the inside and it showed.

I gathered my family on the bed and confessed to them that I needed their help. I don’t want to hurt them anymore. I don’t want to hurt myself anymore. There is no excuse for uncontrolled anger. It was a sin. Please pray for me and keep me accountable to keep my anger in check. I don’t want to be old and ugly!

I can’t say that I stopped yelling altogether. I am still not the perfect mom. But I’ve made a decision that anger is unacceptable. I took responsibility to stop the behavior that’s become an all too comfortable habit.

My post on 10 Ways to Relax – with the kids around, came out of this experience of realizing that I needed to change up my routine, take care of myself a bit, and put on a happier demeanor.

One day, my daughter said to me, “You don’t yell at us as much as you used to!”  Oh, praise God!

See the previous posts in the series Getting Control of Your Frustrations

The next post in the series is How to control your frustrations when children disobey.


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  1. […] series on Getting Control of Your Frustrations continues in the next post – Getting Control of Our Anger) […]

  2. I think you and I must be twins separated at birth-either that or all moms can really relate to this piece. This was sooo me, a few years ago, when my babies were little and my eldest around 8. Tired and frustrated and yelling. I, too, made a conscious effort to not yell (as much) and we are all better for it. It’s not my kids fault I had 5 in 6 years!!!Thanks for sharing!

  3. I’ll tell you what helped me not to yell so much. A long time ago when I was a teacher in inner city L.A. I found I had taken after many other teachers and yelled a lot to get the kids’ attention. One day a good teacher friend of mine told me that they didn’t pay her enough to yell and get worked up. From that day on, I didn’t yell anymore at my students. I’ve used that same theory in parenting my own kids cause I sure DON’T get paid for this job either!!

  4. Glad to hear I’m not the only one! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Oh bless you! Thank you for sharing. Sometimes I feel Iike I am the worst parent! What you posted is exactly what I do. Yell then tell them I’m sorry. So thanks for encouraging me to be better.


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