A mom asked me, “How do I talk to my daughter in college about sex?”
This mom wanted to warn her daughter not to have promiscuous sex.
As with many subjects that we want our kids to learn, a straight lecture is usually not the best method. Don’t we simply tune out people that we don’t want to listen to?
A better way to approach talking to your teen about sex is to ask questions. I don’t mean a lecture in question form like, “Don’t you know you can get STD if you have sex?
If we are good listeners and really ask questions that seek to understand them, our children will begin to open their hearts to us. Just remember don’t act shocked at what they might tell you!
Here are some questions to start the conversation. Follow each question with a why or why not.
- What’s the pervasive attitude of sex among your friends?
- Are your friends having sex?
- Is anyone you know pregnant or had an abortion?
- Have you ever been pressured to have sex?
- How do you say no to that pressure?
- Do you think it is unrealistic for a young person to remain a virgin until marriage?
- What do you think makes a person ready to have sex?
- Do you think sometimes people have sex just to impress friends?
- Do you think it is important to save yourself before marriage?
- Would you want your future spouse to have had sex before marrying you?
What other questions have you found to be useful?
Photo by desi.italy