Adventures in Parenting

A friend with a 2-year-old asked me how to deal with her daughter’s temper tantrums.

“Tell me what happened.” I said.

“We were in the mall shopping, with my daughter in a stroller. And she started screaming and crying, ” my friend told me.

“How long were you at the mall?”

“About two hours.”

Do you honestly expect a 2-year old to enjoy sitting in a stroller for 2 hours looking at things she has no interest in, that she cannot play with, probably constantly being told “don’t touch”? Wouldn’t you scream and have a fit too if you were her? It’s her way of saying “Get me outta here!”

The best way to handle a tantrum is to avoid the stimulant as much as possible.

Think of the baby’s well-being first. It is just not fair to the child to expect her to sit there nicely while you drag her around to do things you want to do, and it’s not what she wants to do. Putting her in situations that unnecessarily irritates her will elicit bad temper reactions. She is not a bad child. She is normal.

I told my friend she should not punish her daughter. She should immediately give her daughter a big hug, go home, relax, get a snack, and just play with her baby. Later, she can find a babysitter to take care of her daughter so she can go shopping. Next time, she should think about limiting her shopping to one store only, so the trip is completed in half an hour instead of two hours. They can go to another store the next day.

I don’t think this friend liked my advise though. She looked at me incredulously, as if to say, “What? You’re telling me to give up shopping? What a novel idea. Who would possibly want to do that?”

Maybe the sale was ending in an hour. Maybe she needed to find a dress for the party tomorrow. There could even be a very good reason why she had to shop for two hours. Maybe she had to buy some things for a friend with cancer. I don’t know why she was at the mall for two hours.

All I know is, if you put yourself in the child’s point of view, you wouldn’t like it either, and a temper tantrum will inevitably result. You end up being angry, your baby is frustrated, and you’ll probably be mean to your husband that night.

Do yourself a favor. Avoid those type of situations with your child.