Adventures in Parenting

A friend of mine paid me a huge compliment. It’s not about my hair, or my clothes.

She said, “If you wrote a book on parenting, I would read it.”

I know for a fact that I am not the best mom. Nor do I know all there is to know about raising children. I don’t pretend to think that my three children are the best children in the world.

But I have committed the better part of my life to parenting children. I’ve had some successes, and some not-so successes. Ok, call them failures!

I recently heard a Family Life broadcast, featuring Elizabeth Marquardt as the guest. She completed a research called “The Revolution in Parenthood – The Emerging Global Clash Between Adult Rights and Children’s Needs”. There is a coming redefinition of parenting and of parenthood, from being child-centered to adult-centered.

She asks the questions: “Is parenthood for adults, is it to satisfy adult needs and desires for children whenever and however they want them? Or is parenthood for children, is parenthood about, whenever possible, securing for children their own mother and father?“

We see parents getting divorced, remarrying, sometimes several times such that a child has all different combination of step siblings, step grandparents, and being shuffled from here to there. Adults are doing whatever they want instead of what is best for their children. They think their actions are justified as long as it suits them and makes them happy. Their children should accept their circumstances and be happy for the parents.

Something is not right about that.

Parenting is a grave responsibility. Look at the innocent life that is in your care. He is depending on you to provide for his growth and nurture. If you are not ready to give your all, if you are not willing to sacrifice your own happiness and convenience for your children, then you should not have children.

I don’t mean that in a derogatory way. I mean that pragmatically.

A friend of mine chose not to have children. She and her husband decided that their careers are important to them, and they love their freedom to travel whenever, wherever they want. I highly respect their decision.

Another couple I know cannot have children. They do not fret over it, nor sought medical remedies. Their lives are full with god-children and nieces and nephews. They invest themselves in numerous other passions.

Having children is not just to fulfill your personal desires for children.

Having children is not for everyone.

But if you do have children, be prepared to exercise all those selfless characteristics that is not normally practiced in our culture: sacrifice, patience, unconditional love, giving without expecting anything in return.

Who wants to sign up for that?

Only those who are willing to make the investment for the sake of the next generation.

And the investment may not even pay off in your lifetime.

Raising children has certainly made me look at life totally differently than before I had children.  I’ve become a better person because of this task of motherhood.  That’s one of the payoffs of this tough job.

So this blog is my parenting “book”. I invite you to add your comments and share your experiences.