December 13th, 2010
Does it sound like an oxymoron to be a mom who is both in charge and humble at the same time?
It is my privilege to share this post with you written by my friend Traci Thompson on what she thinks about this. Traci is the author over at Myhandsful, sharing about God’s blessings through the various trials of having all 3 children and husband with diabetes and home schooling the children. She has a heart warming way of expressing herself. Enjoy!
I was in a conversation recently where the subject came up about how a message is much better received when it comes from a humble perspective rather than an arrogant one. When we come off sounding like we are an expert or “know it all” people begin to resist what we are trying to share and defend their own ideas more fiercely – even if they otherwise may have had an open mind.
As I sat nodding in agreement, I asked myself, “I wonder if I use this principle in dealing with my children?” The answer was that more often than not I “lord it over my children” thinking it’s my right, my responsibility as a parent. I have lived longer, I have the experience and education and I want to pass it all on to them so they, in turn will “get it” and become adults filled with knowledge and character.
Something that was so clear when we are talking about dealing with people in general just leaped out at me that day in regards to my children. They are more likely to resist my message when I deliver it in an autocratic way. They will also become more and more prone to defending their actions rather than being teachable. I certainly don’t want this. I thought of the example set for us in the Bible by Jesus when he washed the disciples’ feet. He was their leader, their teacher, and he chose to show them by example the path of servant leadership. What if I were to really practice this on a daily basis with my kids? Lead them by first serving them, approach them from a position of humility.
As a mom, of course we serve our families pretty much all the time, but often it turns into a martyr-syndrome, and we honestly are looking for something in return. I know for me often I believe it is my due, because of all that I do for them every day, that they listen and obey. Then I am sorely disappointed when they don’t. If instead, I saw my role as example, showing them the way by being humble and serving without complaining or thinking I deserved something in return, then I might be surprised by how they would follow with like behavior in their own lives. I would be growing them in the ability to do right rather than preaching at them that they should be doing so. It’s really the difference between ruling over our children and shepherding them. I know which one I’d rather be doing.
Visit Traci’s website at Myhandsful.com to get to know her more.