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A good marriage is good for children

January 22nd, 2009

One of the best gifts to give your children is a good marriage between you and your spouse. But it’s a common experience that after couples have children, they have less time for each other.

No doubt, children are demanding. We give them our time, energy, and affection. Then there’s nothing left for our spouse.

I am describing myself here!

My husband, bless him, put up with my crankiness. And while I thought I was doing my best for my kids, I was not doing them any favors when I neglect to invest in my marriage.

So, I decided that if I really want to do what’s best for my kids, I would have to do something counter intuitive – I need to spend less time with them, and instead spend more time with my husband.

Here are just a few ways I’ve found to connect with my husband.

1. Take a walk together about dinner. Sometimes we just walk in silence. It’s good just to have some quiet time together.

2.  Go out for dessert. We can’t afford to have dinner out too much, but a few dollars for dessert does the job. It’s also easier to ask a neighbor to watch the kids for an hour than for several hours.

3. Do a light house chore together. I know, this doesn’t sound very exciting. But I enjoy washing the car together, or standing there to water the lawn together, or planting flowers together.

4. Run errands together. We like going to Home Depot

5. Greet each other affectionately. When you you leave the house or when you come home, give your spouse a big smooch.

What other ideas do you have?

By the way, connecting on Facebook doesn’t count!

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  1. After the bumps and bruises of raising nine (so far) – I can say without reserve, that this post is on target like Robinhood. The spouse connect is sooo important (I know cause for years I’ve been missing on this front) One little connection that I want to try this year is to find at least area to compliment my bride on – in front of the children – so they see that I am appreciative and recogonise her efforts, accomplishments, even if its just a “good hair day”. I am hoping that little items like those listed here, blossom into fullness “connectedness”, that of marital intimacy.

  2. amdgapk: Very nice! And with 9 children (so far!), your example is being watched all the time.
    Thanks so much for sharing your experience.


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