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5 things parents do that annoy their kids

July 16th, 2008 / 18 Comments

My mother-in-law often says, “If you treat people well, they will treat you well.”

Do we want our kids to obey us, respect us, and be civil to us?

Then we have to do our part not to annoy our children.

Of course, if I am doing the right thing and my kids don’t like it, I don’t care.

But honestly, our kids get annoyed with us for good and right reasons. We can be pretty annoying, can’t we?

My kids told me 5 things that I do that bothers them:

1. Tell them to do several things at once and expect them to do it all at the same time.

“Go pick up your socks. It’s your turn to wash the dishes. And don’t forget to write a thank you card to your grandma. Why haven’t you picked up your sock yet?”

You told me to wash the dishes, mom!

“Don’t leave the dishes in the sink like that!”

You told me to pick up my socks, mom!

“Don’t talk back to me, just do what I tell you to do!”

2. Talk about them to my friends. When us moms get together, we can’t help ourselves but talk about the funny, silly and cute things that our kids do.

“Honey,” I tried to explain to my kids.  “I’m just telling my friends about it because what you did was so cute!” No, our kids don’t want to be cute. It invades their privacy and they feel like everything they do is fair game for us tell the whole world. They become an object of stories that get passed around. Really, they don’t want us to tell our friends how “cute” they are…

3. Make them go shopping with me. Pretty self-explanatory why kids don’t want to shop in the women’s department. Would you want to spend 2 hours in the plumbing department looking at wrenches and gaskets?

4. Interrupt them while they are trying to explain. When our children try to explain themselves,  for example –

“I wasn’t talking in class. I was just…”

“I don’t care what you had to do. You were talking when the teacher told you not to and you’re grounded!”

We parents think we know it all. But even the Supreme Court gives the defendant a chance to tell their side before pronouncing the verdict and punishment. So I can definitely see why this annoys our kids.

5. Being too busy to listen to them when they want to talk.

“Wait, I’m on the phone. Tell me later.”

“I have to get this email out right now. Tell me later.”

“Let me take the casserole out of the oven. Tell me later.”

And Later never comes, or the urgency is gone. “Nevermind, I don’t want to tell you anymore.”

And that’s why our kids never tell us anything.

Can you blame them?

What annoys your kids?

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  1. And here I thought I was the only mean mom of the city!!! My daughter tells me I am mean to think she can remember all she has to do. Such as my rambling for her to clean room, pick up instruments all over house and do house chores.

    I’m guilty of expecting her to complete it all and in that order. One day she put me in my tracks and answered me as I answered her.
    “Mom, write it down, I am busy taking care of what needs to be done first!”

    So now I write it on her white board. And that is where it remains for the week, she forgets to do it,and I forget what I asked her to do,and where I had put it. Am I am getting old yet? haha…

  2. #4, for sure! I can hear it even now.

    “Mom, MOM! I was just telling you that…”

    lol – (deep breath) – thanks for another great reminder 🙂

  3. My 20 month…no, hello! 21 month old (as of yesterday) can’t articulate himself yet. If he could, he would probably complain about trying to feed him when he’s not hungry, taking away pointy sticks and not letting him have my keys.

  4. I came across this blog the other day and you got some great info here – thanks.

  5. I’m terrible at #1! So is/was my wife. We’ve had to work extremely hard at overcoming this but we still give the poor kids brain-freeze by sending them too many commands at once.

    Good post, Katy. Makes me think.

  6. One of my favorite things to do is go shopping WITHOUT my kids. I try to take them with me as little as possible!

  7. I think I’m guilty of all of those except the shopping one. I will do anything in my power not to take my kiddos shopping. Most of the time, they beg me to take them.

    Great post, I think all parents need the reminder. I think I’m the worst at #1, i will do this to my daughter. She never knows how to clean, so I will start rambling everything off to her that needs to be done. Then she has no idea what to do because of my long list. Oh well, working on it!

  8. Good post。

  9. Here we are almost a year later and it seems the drama continues with our teen. We have our every day joys,love and laughter. But the minute we tell her back to homework put DS down or etc. she gets sassy. You know the look teens give, rolling of the eyes and the huffing and puffing sassy sounds.

    We mention to her what she is doing wrong. But time and time again those disrespectful ways come back to bite us. Are we softies as parents????? Help Advice!!!


  11. Mackenzie, I am glad to hear that your parents don’t do things that annoy you. I hope you understand that I am not purposely trying to annoy my kids, but unfortunately, I am not perfect, and still learning.

  12. im a teenager, i cant believe that you talk about your children behind their back on a public website, in disgusted you should all feel very very bad!!!!

  13. Thomas, thank you for reminding me about that. Actually my children read this site, and if they feel their privacy is invaded, I would take it down. I agree, I wouldn’t talk behind their backs.

  14. Thank you Thomas for this reminder.

  15. I totally love you guys! I am a male and I don’t have any children of my own, but I will definitely keep these in mind.

  16. Oh my gosh! That’s amazing! I am a teenager and I suffer these things with my parents ALOT. I also know other kid’s parents do this too. I think every person has done at least one of these things to someone else, parent or not. I know kids do it as well. So if someone says that they or their parents or have never done any of those things they’re probably lying or they’re ignorant. I’m glad you have noticed these things as a parent and share them with others. =)

  17. Hi my name is Chalina and I’m 14 years old (almost 15) and I’d like to share some of my input to see if I can help some parents. Though I am writing this in specific response to Diane(8 comments above this one) ,who might not even see this, I think this can help other parents too.

    I’m not sure if u still go to this page but no you are not a “softie” as a parent. It sounds like you want what is best for your kid but might be taking the wrong approach. First off, most people don’t like to be told they are wrong, especially teens with our huge egos sometimes. However it is needed occasionally. But do not do a whole “I’m right, you’re wrong just because I’m the adult” kind of thing. It annoys us to no end. Try and establish that you, as the parent, are still her parent and even though she’s almost grown, she’s not done and your job is to help her get to be the best her she could be.

    Then establish a clear equality chart. Work then play or work then reward most of the time. Like if she wants to play on her DS then she has to do her homework first. However if it’s a lot of work then say something like “If you do 30 math problems, you can have 30 minutes on the DS.”
    This can be shaped to subjects or chores or whatever needs to get done. But make sure it is equal and BE VERY SPECIFIC.

    Next is to ENFORCE IT.
    Do that in two steps.
    First, Make sure that the She can’t sneak and play on the DS. Take it away and give it to her when shes done if needed. Then take it back so she can do 30 more or whatever the situation is.
    Second, DO NOT go back on your word.
    Like If 15 out of the 30 problems are done and you still let her play for 30 minutes, it will have us, as the kid, see that you are weak in that way and we can get away with other things too. Stand your ground.

    – DO NOT go by *time* when making arrangements because we can take advantage of that.
    Example: For every *30 minutes* of working on your homework, you can have 30 minutes on the DS.
    We can and do take advantage of that by slacking off for 30 minutes but getting some stuff done to make it appear that we were working the entire time just to play. It sounds silly but we do it.
    – Try writing it down somewhere where it can be seen publicly in your house, like on a white board in the hall or family room or something. Reminders are a good thing.
    – Lists are amazing. You write down what needs to get done then check it off and see what you have left. Checking something off can make you feel good.
    – Praise your kid on the good things they do. We always like to be appreciated even if we act like we don’t.

    We sass and fight back and have this need to be right sometimes. That does not mean we don’t love our parents. We are teens and are still growing and learning even if we think otherwise. These are some things my parents try with me and my older and younger siblings. It works pretty well for us and I hope it does for you too.<3

  18. Kids u still need to Learn this Move out,work, pay own bills, parents rules
    If u hate home fend for self then


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