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Why we don’t spend more time with our children

October 22nd, 2009 / 4 Comments

I am a substitute teacher, and I think teachers have the hardest job in the world! To be surrounded by 20-30 little kids all day and trying to keep them on task is stressful to say the least. I substitute occasionally, and that’s about all I can handle!

And when it comes to being a parent, hanging out with our own children all day is not a piece of cake either.  While I have been talking about the importance of spending time with our children, I know that it’s not all fun and games.

See if you identify with some of these reasons why it’s not so easy to spend more time with our children:

1. We’ve got more important “adult” things to do. I’ve got a meeting with a client; I’ve got bills to pay; I’ve got to answer that phone call. I can’t be “playing” with children.

2. We don’t have any shared interests with our children. I’m bored with playing Candyland! I’m too old to play hide and seek; I need adult conversation!

3. We are too busy. We can play later (does “later” ever come?); I’m too tired; I don’t have time to play with you now.

4.  We want to do our own things. I want to get my shopping done. I’m in the middle of my project right now.I want to be alone with some peace and quiet!

Before I became a mom, I thought I was a pretty good person. I helped my friends, and I do volunteer work. But being a parent has stretched me, and I  realize that I am, at the core a selfish being. When it comes to putting aside my own agenda and giving attention to my children, I struggled. Some days, when the children are so demanding, I wanted to quit, if that was an option!

Then it dawned on me that for any relationship to be meaningful and fruitful, it requires a tremendous amount of investment.

While parents are worried about the financial cost of putting their kids through college, I think the bigger concern is the investment of time.

Many middle school and high school students I know go home everyday to an empty house. I know parents who do not work outside the home but chose to take their kids to after-school care so they can have someone else help their children do homework.

Who will be the main influence in our children’s lives? Where will they learn the right values?

Let me encourage you today to make every effort to be there for your children. You won’t regret it.

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  1. So true! It is sometimes the hardest thing for us as parents to stop what we want or need to do and spend time with our kids doing what THEY want. It always seems like we can do that tomorrow, and then when tomorrow comes, the kids are grown and gone, and it’s too late.

  2. I can completely relate to what you are saying. I am a SAHM and sometimes I feel like I just can’t keep myself at my daughter’s level. She is 2, so trying to play at a 2 year old’s level all day can be tiring, but I do make sure that I get quality time with her each and every day. I couldn’t imagine letting someone else take on my important and influential role.

  3. It’s good to know other SAHMs are here in it together!

  4. I would say that the first comment is the main reason that I can’t spend as much time as I want with my daughter.

    The only way to change this is to create different streams of revenue so I can do what I want with my time.


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