Adventures in Parenting

Around this time of year, thousands of high school seniors are anxiously sitting by the mailboxes waiting for the acceptance and rejection letters from colleges.

Chances are your child will be accepted into more than one college. How do you help him decide where to go?

Aside from the practical concerns of cost, location, and course of study, how do you advise your kids on how to make their decision?

I’ve sent 2 children to college within the last 3 years. Here are some things I’ve tried to teach my children:

1. Where you go isn’t as important as how you will make use of the resources available. My son is pretty good about seeking out help from his counselors, profs, TAs and RAs. Special seminars, lectures, job fairs, professional and social clubs are available at every college. They won’t come to you, you have to be proactive. What you get out of college is up to you.

2. Where you go isn’t as important as who you are. There are people who party, drink and do drugs at the best schools. And there are conservative people at the most liberal schools. Who will you choose to be your friends? When you know who you are and who you want to be, you will hang out with friends who share your values. My friend’s son had a roommate who did drugs. Except for sleeping in the same room, they were not really friends. You don’t have to be sucked into the bad influences of unguarded lifestyles that college is known for. Seek out people who will influence you to do the right things.

3. Where you go isn’t as important as who you meet. College is where you will make contacts for future jobs and even where you will find your future spouse! Chances are you will meet a variety of people. Keep your eyes open to meeting new people, developing strong friendships, and meeting like-minded people. My children joined clubs affiliated with their majors and attended Christian clubs that share their values. Even though they attend schools well-known for sports, that wasn’t their interest and they stayed away from that crowd.

Maybe thinking of college this way makes the decision not as daunting. No matter which college your child attends, he can be a success.

Photo by Paul Keleher