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Ranting about condoms

April 29th, 2008 / 7 Comments

Should we teach our teens about using condoms? Isn’t it better to teach them about safe sex since they are going to have sex anyway?

Kara, an abstinence educator, tells it like it is in a letter she wrote to Dr. Laura. It gives us the right perspective about what we should teach our children.

Here is the letter in its entirety. The emphasis is mine.

Greetings Dr. Laura,

I have been an abstinence educator in Cochise County for approximately 10 years now. I have taught at Bisbee High School for about the last 7 years in the Life Skills class. Why don’t you ask how it is possible when condoms fail (as birth control) the most in preventing pregnancy in adults, how they are preventing the spread of STD’s in irresponsible teens with underdeveloped frontal lobes? The current statistics show the FACTS concerning Sexually Transmitted Diseases. The statistics concerning condom RISK REDUCTION are usually not about teens, but adults who know how to use them appropriately and properly. Would you loan the keys of your Lexus to a teen? Yet some encourage teens to entrust the only body they have to a little piece of latex.

We teach tobacco education, drug education and alcohol education encouraging abstinence from these dangerous activities, knowing full well some youth will do it anyway. Why not tobacco safety smoking low tar and nicotine cigarettes? Why not a “safe needle” program for drugs? Why not “drinking underage at home, just don’t drive” messages? Why is it we can potty train them when they are 2-3 years old, expect them to control their bladders/bowels, yet think they cannot control their genitals? Can you imagine your daughter, wanting to save her body, making it something special, opening her prom bag and seeing condoms? This is pressure on those making healthy decisions! Why don’t we give forms for GED’s when kids start 9th grade, just to assure them if they can’t “hack” school, they can always drop out and get a GED?

In conclusion I must say how it stymies me when grown adults ignore the TRUTH. Condoms fail frequently concerning birth control. Condoms were NOT designed to protect against disease, which is present 24/7 and smaller than a human sperm. Girls are only fertile approximately 72 hours a cycle, or three days a month for pregnancy. Herpes and syphilis lesions and HPV can be on areas of the genitalia not covered by that little piece of latex and God help them if they are allergic to latex! Go ahead Bisbee, while you are at it, give them the keys to your cars too! At least they’re insured!


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  1. Wow! What a great article! I completely agree and I am one of the very few that DID abstain until my honeymoon night. My husband did as well even though he was 23! It is possible!

  2. Wow, what a great letter that is! I love it.

    I wonder what Dr. Laura’s response was to the letter. I would guess she was in agreement. I listen to her occasionally (after a while the people who call in frustrate me though LOL!) and the only thing I’ve ever found I disagreed with her about was the subject of p*rn*gr*phy. She thinks it’s okay for husbands to use it and I don’t (and I know of at least one marriage – a friend’s – that has broken up over it.)

  3. Cassie: Good role model! My husband and I were virgins too. Yes, it is possible.

    Christine: I agree with you about Dr. Laura’s stand on porn. I don’t agree with everything she says, but I have learned a lot from her. And yes, she agreed with the letter. She read it as her letter of the day.

  4. I don’t think the two (abstinence and birth control) have to be mutually exclusive. We teach kids not to smoke, but we’ve also made it illegal to sell them cigarettes. We teach our toddlers to use the potty, but still keep Pullups in the cupboard. We can certainly TRY to teach our kids abstinence, but we shouldn’t rely on it to be the only method. We still need that back up for when the kids don’t quite get it right. My 4 year old twins have been potty trained for a year and a half, but they still sometime pee in their pants.

  5. Warrior: I think birth control should be taught. But I think the point is, we should not resign to thinking that kids will do it anyway, so just hand out condoms everywhere. They don’t hand out clean needles in college freshman welcome packs as they do condoms. (it was in my kids “health” pack when they entered college.)

  6. I believe that parents should teach children about safe sex and birth control before they ever need to worry about birth control. We should not believe that just because we want and teach our children to abstain that they will. Our children should feel comfortable coming to us to talk about sex and we should feel comfortable discussing abstinence, safe sex and birth control. Why would we as parents leave it up to others to teach such an important issue to our children. The way we communicate with our children will have a lasting effect on the decision they make. Telling a child to just not have sex does not work.

  7. Toni: Thanks for your comment. Sex education does begin at home.


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