June 18th, 2007
The memories I have of my father are generally ones that involves lecturing, or discipline. He is a typical non-expressive, stern father.
While my father and I have a good relationship, I am not particularly close to him. I wished he was more warm and fuzzy.
But now I understand that in some respects, the father’s role is suppose to be firm. He balances the role of the mother who is usually the nurturer with the warm fuzzies.
As in every relationship, if we allow some memories to overtake others, our view of the relationship is unbalanced and unfair. So I must say, when I purposefully think of good times with my father, I can come up with many such incidences.
I want to recall some of those positive moments here, with the hope that it will inspire you fathers to intentionally create good memories with your children. You don’t necessarily have to be the touchy-feely type. But do take some special efforts, and they will delight in those memories for years to come.
**When my mother went to Hong Kong for 3 weeks to visit her family, my father took all 4 of us kids to Magic Mountain. It was unusual for us to see our normally inhibited father ride on the Merry-Go-Round with us. It was a really fun day and it distracted me from missing my mom.
Now that I have 3 kids of my own, I realize in looking back that it must’ve been a heroic effort for him to take 4 kids to an amusement park by himself. The 4 of us were probably between the ages of 7-13 as we were pretty close in age. Brave man! Dads – take your children for a day of fun that they will remember the rest of their lives. Yes, be brave!
**I had a bicycle accident when I was about 8 years old. I fell on my face while speeding downhill. My mouth was full of blood as I walked into the house. My father immediately took me to our family dentist. However, the dentist’s waiting room was full, and we were told to wait even though it was an emergency. My father was mad, left that dentist’s office that day, and never went back to give him our business again. Dads – be a father who protects and stands up for your children. Make sure others treat your children right. They need you to be strong and make decisions that will protect them.
**One day when I was about 20, my father surprised me and said, “Do you want to go shopping for a car?” I was not surprised that he would buy me a car. He always provided everything that we needed, and I was never extravagant in my needs. What amazed me was that he wanted me to go pick out what I want. I expected him to go by himself, buy a practical economical car, and hand me the keys. I would have been fine with that. It would have been what I expected.
On this occasion, he had the morning off work, and we went to a Suburu dealer. I didn’t know anything about cars, nor did I care. My dad said Subaru is a reputable name, and nodded in agreement – what did I know. What I do know was picking out a color that I liked! This was my first new car where I get to choose the color! I drove off proudly in a maroon/red 2-door coupe, with no air conditioning since it was an option in those days. Dads – get out of the routine and surprise your children once in a while with an out-of-character unexpected action. I guarantee it will make an impression.